I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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