I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
