why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
