I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
