So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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