she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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