we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
