If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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