Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
