How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
