The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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