my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
