Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
