First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
