she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
