Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
