I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
