Got a toothbrush?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
