Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
