The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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