Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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