dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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