so that wasnt chicken after all
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
