Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
