dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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