sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
