Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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