she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
