Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
