mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
