On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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