2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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