one two three fourrrrnication!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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