i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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