one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I believe in your delicious
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
