Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
