lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
