Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
