come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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