Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
