Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
