He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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