my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
