How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
