i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
should my penis look like a turkey
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
