what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
