Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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