i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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