You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
