Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
