I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
