I got chris browned last night
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
