well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
